48 Things

There was a time when these annual lists indexed how much stranger I was getting each year, but the past few years have made it impossible to outpace the world in advancing strangeness. As a result, it seems that, at long last, the arc of my lessons have steered towards my encroaching maturity and away from the bare idiosyncrasy and wildly overconfident certainty that only youth can inspire. Now, as I mark the completion of four dozen summers, and now thirteen annual lists, I can say that I’m most grateful just to still be learning. So many people I see have stopped learning, apparently decided that they know all that they need to. I hope, then, that I can inspire someone to keep learning, and if they’ve been learning, to write their lessons down. This annual tradition has given me everything I wanted from it, and much more. Thanks for coming along, whether this is your first, or you’ve been along for all of it.

So, with that, this is 48 things I’ve learned this year:

We’ve lost a lot of things over the years, but none so important as the ability to simply sit and talk with each other, face-to-face.
One of life great milestones is the end of the compulsion to be “out” on Friday and Saturday nights. Here’s to 10PM bedtimes… 7 days a week.
There is no more accurate indicia of an utter lack of societal utility than an aftermarket exhaust on one’s car. This is one of the few truths that has survived for 13 years of these.
Home is where you find yourself when you finally stop running from the house you grew up in.
Your life is the sum of your relationships. Take care of them. They aren’t just all you have, they are all you are.
The best sales tool I’ve ever found is being yourself. Unfortunately, you have to know and like yourself to use it properly.
If you can’t be healthy for the right reasons, be healthy for the wrong ones. Health is valuable enough that it’s worth obtaining by any means necessary.
There are few joys greater than listening to someone tell you about their thing.
Everyone is doing their best. Believing that will change your life.
Tell good stories.
Nothing comes with its own energy. That’s why it’s always correct to say that “you get out what you put in” – and the hardest energy to give is the first bit. Cherish those who light the pilot light.
There’s nothing “wrong” with any generation.
Spend time around people who share your most positive vision of yourself.
There is no more valuable or difficult skill to learn than to be genuinely happy for the success of others. Success isn’t a zero sum game.
There’s no such thing as “dumb evil” – if you don’t know why you’re doing something awful, you’re not an ideologue, you’re an idiot.
Own your weird. Then share it… broadly.
We are all artists. We are NOT all mathematicians.
Freedom from prosecution for what you say is not the same thing as freedom from persecution. If you can’t defend what comes out of your mouth, that’s not oppression, it’s ignorance.
We could (and should) all be a little nicer.
If you can’t wear the hat, don’t wear the hat.
We are most likely what we most strongly accuse others of being.
If a young person is considering your profession, don’t heap your biases on them. Celebrate their interest. They might just be the person that changes it for the better. They also might turn out to be better than you at it.
Your confidence in what you know is always misplaced. True genius always comes paired with humility.
Get up early. The day belongs to those who start it.
Cry more. Scream less. Our strength often lies in our quietest and most vulnerable moments.
Understanding your enemy means understanding that there’s no such thing.
It all means something. It must. The alternative is absolute nihilism and wholly impossible.
Go to everything you get invited to. There’s nothing more consistently valuable than showing up.
Not everyone asking questions is looking for answers. Sometimes they just need to say it out loud so they can figure it out for themselves.
It took me 48 years to figure out that the two most loving words to say to a woman who is telling you about the bad parts of her day are: “that sucks.”
The world is served in no way by you shrinking from your maximum potential. In fact, that may be the worst thing you can do for everyone else. Shine. For all of us.
Listen.
Stop trying to recruit anyone into anything that they didn’t ask you about first.
Don’t give out advice on matters in which you’re not educated. Rather, be honest about not knowing and collaborate on finding a reliable source.
A custom suit is worth the money.
There are few things more pathetic than middle-aged men trying to fist fight. If you can’t beat someone with your words by the time you’re 40, just shut up and sit down.
Let kids learn. Learning is a contact sport. Kids that don’t make mistakes become adults that do, but don’t know how to handle it.
Martyrdom is always stupid.
Unless you train like an actual soldier with it, your gun doesn’t make you a protector, it makes you a liability.
You know why nerds always seem so happy doing their thing? Because we are happy. Try it out, you might find it suits you. No one’s really watching, anyways.
No one ever “fucks off” – so, learn how to live with them.
Nothing good is done in a hurry.
Emotion is life. Emotion kills business. Let your emotions run wild and free in your life and keep them completely out of your business.
Update your style every once in a while. Try new foods frequently. Check out new music and art. Change is only scary if you stop doing it.
It is tragic to define yourself wholly in opposition, even if to evil. We build. It’s what we do best, and the only way we got this far.
There can be just as much beauty in the endings of your life as the beginnings.
Encourage everyone who shares their dreams with you.
If you know who’s calling, answer the phone. You might be the connection that makes all the difference and you can’t text a connection.