50 Things

So… here we are, fifty years on. There was a time I saw this as the putative “halfway” mark, but it feels a lot more like two thirds, these days. Nevertheless, I haven’t turned out to be the old man I feared I would. Through an extraordinary combination of, good fortune, good people, good timing, and good old fashioned, hard work, it’s become a beautiful life, and one that I’m proud of. So, it turns out that I skipped this exercise last year – and while I’m not exactly sure why, I’m putting another marker down in 2024, because we are what we repeatedly do, if nothing else.

The one lesson that repeatedly comes up is the value and importance of a lifetime commitment to learning. This is always the silent lesson in all of this: that a willingness to keep finding lessons, is the most important one, after all.

So, as we cross the lexicon from young-adjacent, to retirement-planning-in-place, here are fifty things I’ve learned:

Who cares about how it looks, if it makes you feel good, do it. (Keep an eye on local ordinances, however).
No one can keep a secret. Ever. Keep this in mind when making decisions.
The most important trait for success is passion.
Texting is not the same as calling, and it’s definitely not better.
I used to think no one was “magic”, and then I thought just a few special people were magic, and I missed the whole thing – we’re all magic.
Call your parents. Yes, you do have a good reason not to. Call them anyways.
The only thing that was better about the 80’s than now, is the music.
The last job that AI will take from us will be creative. If you’re not creating, you’re basically just marking time until your irrelevance.
Anger is a drug, and an addictive one.
No one over the age of 50 should ever be in a physical fight – yes, even if you’re Mike Tyson.
If you’re not enjoying getting older, you’re doing it wrong.
If we don’t figure out a way to stop abandoning young men from ages 15-25, that will come back to not only haunt us, but to destroy us. Boys are not disposable.
Pick up the damn phone.
Complaining about younger generations is something you can grow out of, and I highly recommend it.
YouTube should be harder to get to than liquor and weed. Trust me, it has the capacity to do much more damage.
Modern politics is bullshit. Full stop.
The Dunning Kruger effect and basic logic should both be taught in high school – with the same fervor as any other science – in fact, instead of other science. No one needs geology.
The only people who can benefit from nihilism are martyrs, and even they don’t get much out of it.
Americans know more about the Cola Wars (i.e. Coke vs. Pepsi), than the war between Israel and Palestine.
What you repeat you will learn, what you continually learn, you will master, and what you master, you will teach – whether you set out to, or not.
There is a fine line between not being ashamed of yourself, and losing the capacity for shame – and a lot of people are residing on the wrong side of this.
Hypocrisy is dead. Forever.
Anything can be normalized, if repeated and surrounded by it. There’s no reason to be surprised by it.
Americans (raised on cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, etc.) need an enemy. If we don’t find one, we turn on each other.
The final number of “nations” in the world will be either one or zero. It’s time to start merging – because we don’t need more sovereigns. Can you imagine a real future for Lichtenstein?
The “free market” is just as reliable a problem solver as the government. Institutions don’t help people, people help people.
Be nice. Really.
Time heals everything, unfortunately, it’s also the most precious resource we have, so you have to choose what to spend it healing. Just don’t waste it.
The best medication for anxiety is perspective, the second best is hydroxyzine.
You have less time than you think.
Showing up gets both harder and more valuable as you get older.
The two most embarrassing words you can say to a woman at age 50 are “night club.”
Crying is good for you.
I don’t care if daily bathing is bad for people, not doing it is bad for the rest of us, so wash your ass or go live in the woods. You do not have a right to stink.
Eat better. Right now. Your future self with thank you.
Getting tattoos when you’re young is great; but getting tattoos you can see while dressed normally at any age is a very heavy decision to make.
Other people are not NPCs in your life story. They are all just as complicated and nuanced as you are. In light of this, selfishness is truly insane.
Movement cures just about everything. So get up and go!
The willingness to be bad at something is essential for learning and happiness. You’re taking yourself too seriously. Seriously.
If you care more about a problem than the person who has that problem, you will not be able to help them.
Eat the doughnut. The one you want, too. Leave that plain glazed for someone else.
Everyone needs to do better in public restrooms; this includes treating anyone who has to clean one like the hero they are.
The best thing to say after someone says something insane or offensive is absolutely nothing. Trust me, it’s an easier exit for both of you.
The people most likely to beat the odds are those who have no other option. Bet on underdogs.
Curate your life. No one else is going to come do it for you. The memories you keep will be the ones you share.
Patience is a more nuanced skill than you think it is, and there’s definitely a version that’s too much.
There is an immutable and inverse relationship between your age and your comfort level with the physical proximity of strangers.
The fact that Uber hasn’t solved drunk driving means that it’s here to stay. Sorry MADD.
Loving yourself only works if you love who you are, not who you used to be, or who you hope to be.
Get up early. You’re missing more than you think.